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Not Cathartic, Just Pathetic

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1.
Park and Ride Your stare is tearing out bits of my stomach It's silent but still captivating my mind Why are we here tell me that I’m more than just nothing to you After everything that you have done don’t know why I’m still here —— It’s obvious you’re somewhere else entirely It’s all falling down around me but I keep letting you in It seems like you’re callous to all that I’m feeling Why can’t you be honest and just let me go There’s no closure in writing all these shitty songs But I don’t know what else to do I’m so tired and sad I’ve been thinking of the last time that we talked Locked in the bathroom taking shots When you told me to go and find myself somebody new (repeat x4) But they're not you But they're not you Try to make myself fall out of love with you Take all these words and sing about somebody new Try to make myself fall out of love with you Take all these words and sing about somebody new Can’t keep myself from loving you
2.
Fixated on the ebb and flow of headlights on the kitchen counter tops They constantly pollute my solitude, a self reflecting maze Of every time I fell apart, another time that you had called And told me that it’s not because you’re lonely you’re just happy to see me again. I miss you so damn much and I’m all scared that I’ll move on and you’ll come back around when it’s too late Don’t want to know that you don’t care I’ll keep romanticizing that you’ll come back before it’s too late Please don’t lead me on because I’m trying really hard forget you exist Tell me that it’s not because your lonely your just happy to see me again And I’ve tried to see the memories how they are They’ve never been what I thought That I was more than just a coping tool till you learned to be alone You know that you are everything and thats still so much more to me I need to change my mind and prove to myself that you're... You’re no Cinderella (repeat x3) You’re no Cinderella should’ve cast you as the sister (repeat x4) Why do I still fucking miss you Please don’t lead me on because I’m trying really hard forget you exist (You’re no Cinderella, you're no Cinderella) Tell me that it’s not because your lonely your just happy to see me again (You’re no Cinderella, you're no Cinderella )
3.
Wicked 04:54
When all the chemical emotions subside The things I dream will make it seem I’m alright I’ll play along a silly game of disguise Conceal it in the wake of my alibis It’s unreachable, this life I’ve made Crafted from all the love I gave I think you saved a part of my soul Cause you fell apart it seems I’ve nailed you down three more days around So I’m waiting for your return from where the hell that you’ve gone It’s my last crusade, from a life I’ve made waiting Just take me back another year before I realized you were something that could light up the whole twisted fucking world And maybe i could turn the other way And live beneath the shade my regrets, they’re growing old but so are we just separately I think you saved a part of my soul Cause you fell apart it seems I’ve nailed you down three more days around So I’m waiting for a return from where the hell that you’ve gone It’s my last crusade, from a life I’ve made waiting I’ve seen the colors and the glow And I don’t know why Now everything is black and white But I get by Outro: Now my vocals cords are scarred and bloodied speakers yelling out all the reasons I want you back It’s not cathartic just pathetic whining seeing if you’re listening it doesn’t even matter if you know that I’m sad it doesn’t change what doesn’t change. I’ve always wanted you happy and I’m the reason that you weren’t. Can’t promise you I won’t write more songs about that, but I promise that I’m trying all my best to forget, god I’m really trying hard to forget No more walks down the creek no snapchat streaks No Walmart yard stick sword fighting I’ve thrown out all the notes you wrote like the birthday card you left on my front porch said you’re so grateful I fucking exist would’ve been nice if I believed it

credits

released October 5, 2018

Recorded at The Hang Studios in Hurst, Texas.

Engineering: Ben Barnett
Mixing: Ben Barnett
Mastering: Ben Barnett
Vocals: Austin Lege
Rhythm Guitars: Austin Lege
Lead Guitar: William Strickland, Austin Lege
Bass: Ben Barnett
Drums: Jacob Geron
Artwork: Ryan Haines

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Emo band from Denton, Texas.

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