1. |
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01:29
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I was laughing at a dad joke
When the lights in my mind went away I wanted to die again.
Been a while since I felt that, everything in my life is okay
I have nothing to regret.
Tried to say that it’s unfair
What a joke that I told should’ve known
That I’d wanna die again
Thought I finished with the sad songs
everything in my head is a mess I have so much to regret
Hit em with another reason why
Have to prove why I’ve gone away
another day is passing
They’re all asking
Why I am so caught up
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2. |
The Pit
03:57
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Got a broken bed
A couple spiders on the floor
I think I really need to cut my hair
And there’s nothing else that I’d rather do than sit
In my room just listening to I'm Wide Awake It's Morning
and try to stay alive
It’s the time of year to flip the heaters off
I got four months of blistered lungs
coughing till my stomach is inside out
And I’ll try to do what the doctors told me to
Clean a room, take a pill to heal my mood is quickly fading
Think I might too
Cause every autumn I fall apart
I’m still a sack of shit when the New Year comes
If by spring time I haven’t killed myself
It’s just another summer
I'd live in hell
I think that I might be broke
it's all I know
it's how its always been
Light up the ambulance, the consequence
of coping through this with
Everything that I'd rather do than sit
in a room just listening to a Southern Baptist preacher
tell me to stay alive
Every autumn I fall apart
I’m still a sack of shit when the New Year comes
If by spring time I haven’t killed myself
It’s another summer
I'd live in hell
and every autumn I fall apart
I’m still a sack of shit when the New Year comes
If by spring time I haven’t killed myself
It’s just another summer
a self made hell
Stop getting high
Try to just get by on all the good vibes
That all these Facebook hippies
believe will cure all my depressive thoughts
It's fucking bullshit
I’m not taking advice
from those who won’t vaccinate their kids
And what about my family
They say Jesus Christ is ashamed of
Everything that you have become
Here’s another bible verse
About why you are sad
just come back to church
we’ll all just sing
we'll all just sing
It’s fucking bullshit
It’s just fucking bullshit
It’s just fucking bullshit
It's all fucking bullshit
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3. |
Isolation
02:48
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Took the last three months
To watch my life revitalize
But a few missed pills
Another wasted fucking week
I don't know where I am going
(I think I should go)
I don't know where I am going
(I think I should go)
I don't know where I am going
(I think I should go)
I don't know where I am going
(I think I should go)
They I should go see my friends
I'm afraid I'll just stay in
They say I shouldn't be alone
They're right, I might give in
I fight myself to stay alive
I fear that I won't win
If I fail and finally end my life
Would God say that's a sin
I disappear the cops are called
A shotgun is missing
What the hell is wrong with me
the thoughts are persisting
I just need to reset my mind
the nurse is insisting
I stay with them a couple nights
to break this condition
I really want to see my friends
But they're making me stay in
I dont really want to be alone
But I'm stuck in this prison
I know I want to stay alive
I think that I can win
But they say I want to take my life
That's why they took my pen
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4. |
Heretic
04:14
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If god so loved the world
Then tell my why
I’m as dark as before
When screaming
'oh the blood'
On stage every Sunday
God so loved the world
While slamming my head
On a bathroom floor
In a hospital
they won't let me leave
cause I’m only at peace with everyone but me
I believe
You’re not what I need
I believe
You're not what I need
If God so loved the world
When I'm finally dead
Will he rescue me
Will he set me free
In the place where I can't leave
Or did he fucking bleed for everyone but me
I believe
You’re not what I need
Do you think that we're alone in this
While God's just passed out in the sky
Every night I'd lay awake to pray
'is it our fault we have to die?'
(repeat x3)
I’m finding my own way without you
I think I’ll be okay without you
I’m finding my own way without you
I think we'll be okay without you
We're finding our own way without you
think we'll be okay without you
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5. |
Guardian
03:24
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I’m a squeaky fan on a sleepless night
I’m the dead stop traffic when you’re already late to work
Cause you missed the damn alarm again
I’m the sole falling off your old gross vans
The holes torn out of your mismatch socks
I'm the fire ant that's biting down on your toes
Self deprecation is all I have it’s all a drag I don’t know what the hell i’m doing here but I’m alive
I promise that those days are gone
I’m all I’ve got and I’m okay with that
I’m okay with me
I don’t deserve
This apathetic
Self abusing nerve
to hit myself when
I’m already down
It’s so frustrating
I am moving on to a new life
Self deprecation is all I have it’s all a drag I don’t know what the hell i’m doing here but I’m alive
I promise that those days are gone
I’m all I’ve got and I’m okay with that
I’m okay with me
I’m starting to believe
There is something more to this
my serotonin troubled anxiety
won't be the end of me
(repeat)
Self deprecation is all I have it’s all a drag I don’t know what the hell I'm doing here but I’m alive
and I promise that those days are gone
I’m all I’ve got and I’m okay with that and
I’m okay with me
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